I've been struggling with the fear of being upside down for a while now. I think of myself as quite a good paddler. This year I've been paddling a lot more than years past, and although my paddling has improved, I think my rolling has suffered.
I've never been 100% confident underwater. I go paddling a lot but I don't go upside down often. I only roll when I have to. One missed roll, or even when you know you've used bad technique, it can start messing with your head. Next time you go over, you're not 100% sure in your ability.
It came to a point recently, as soon as I went over, I'd think to myself \"what if I don't roll and have to swim?\". Because of this, as soon as I went over, for some reason I felt quite embarrassed at the thought of swimming in front of others.
I took 2 swims that day, almost on purpose, sort of to say to my fears \"I'll take a swim, I'm not embarrassed by it, I'm not that proud! I can be humbled, yet still hold my head up high.\" I've never had such bad feelings/emotions being underwater. The swims helped me overcome this.
I think that now, as the article states, I'm not comfortable being upside down, so that's where I need to be. I need to go over, and stay over for as long as I can before I roll. I can still roll ok, and will usually come up very quick, first go. The problem is when my first roll fails, I panic, I don't set up my second properly, and really don't give myself much chance to come back up. Failed attempts lead to lack of confidence, lack of confidence leads to bad technique and rushed rolls, which leads to failed rolls, which lead to lower confidence. It's a viscous circle!
I know what I have to do to beat this irrational fear. I've known for a long time, I've known it was coming. It's come, and I need to buck up and beat it! Go through the failures to get the Victory!
Well written, inspiring article

Thanks Hendri!